i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
