HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
