I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
