dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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