You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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