i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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