whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you never un-have a 4some
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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