i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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