I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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