You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
