she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
