TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
