6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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