we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Randomize
