you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
