My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
