if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
