You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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