I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
