Apparently you make a good broom.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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