He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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