U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
