I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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