Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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