It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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