I hate all girls vehemently.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
