I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize