I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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