when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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