i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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