i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
