You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
