sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
