god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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