Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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