Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
