I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
