I'm really into asian looking animals
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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