I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
