I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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