cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
