I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
