he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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