the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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