my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
