is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
