you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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