Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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