someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
