Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
