...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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