NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
that is very illegal...i love you.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
