I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
