Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
