I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
