i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
