wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
