So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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