Where did you get a picture of my penis
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
