i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
