Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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