I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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