i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
