Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
